Mondays with Mike: Mike Recommends #3

Welcome to a this week’s “Mondays with Mike” and our episode on Virtual Brawls and a Better Way. While we don’t have a lot of physical fights at PCA, we do have more than our fair share of fighting virtually, which has real impacts on your kids and their in-school experiences. Let’s dive into this tough topic together–there are good things we can do together!

Click above to hear Mike’s 10-minute message on topics relevant for you and your family.

Below is a summary of the podcast above:

In this episode, I discuss the nuanced topics of conflict and the role of technology within the PCA community. While physical altercations at the school are a rarity, focus needs to shift to the challenges posed by online disputes and smartphone usage among students.

• Physical vs. Online Conflicts: Physical fights are uncommon at PCA, but online disagreements, especially among younger adolescents, are on the rise due to smartphone access and gaming platforms.
• Technology’s Double-Edged Sword: While technology can enhance relationships, its misuse often leads to isolation and distracts from meaningful interactions by undermining the in-person connections. Young people particularly struggle in this area.

1. Smartphone Usage: I strongly advise against giving children smartphones before they are mature enough to handle the responsibility, and equate this to the age they start driving. Resist the pressure your kids are bringing you. Not all kids are getting smart phones at young ages. Their safety does not depend on having a smart phone. In fact, having a smartphone may very well put their health and safety, as well as their learning, at greater risk.
2. Technology as a Relationship Tool: Technology should strengthen, extend, and enhance relationships, not detract from them. Most young people (late tweens and early teens) cannot yet handle the power of being connected without accountability. As a result, they hurt others or are hurt in ways that never existed before 2010 (when they were born).
3. Parental Guidance: It is important that parents affirm their child’s identity in Christ, setting boundaries around technology, and fostering an environment conducive to resolving conflicts.
4. Navigating Conflicts: Encourage teaching children to engage lovingly and effectively with peers to promote understanding and peace. This is hard, yet important, work.

As a school, we acknowledge the challenges faced by parents in navigating the modern technological landscape. PCA is committed to supporting families in raising their children according to biblical values and this underscores the importance of partnership between the school and parents. Using Deuteronomy 6 as a guiding principle, we recognize the primacy of parents in ensuring the spiritual and social well-being of their children.

Next Episode: Stay tuned for my final episode of the “Mike recommends” series. Feedback is welcomed, and I look forward to seeing everyone on campus soon.

HOT OFF THE PRESS: “END THE PHONE-BASED CHILDHOOD NOW,” The Atlantic–requires a trial subscription; Read all articles by Jonathan Haidt

For parents looking to navigate the complex world of children’s use of technology and its impact on relationships, several resources offer practical advice and insights:

1. “The Connected Parent: An Expert Guide to Parenting in a Digital World” by John Palfrey and Urs Gasser – This book emphasizes understanding children’s experiences with technology from their perspective and offers strategies for dealing with issues like cyberbullying by viewing them in connection with offline behaviors. The authors encourage parents to stay engaged with their children’s technology use to help navigate the digital world together.
2. Common Sense Media provides a wealth of resources to help parents manage media and technology in their family’s life. Tips include engaging with media together, discussing content, and connecting media learning to real-life events. The site also covers internet safety, social networking, role models, stereotypes, and educational issues, providing practical advice on how to establish healthy technology habits in children.
3. Edutopia’s Media and Digital Literacy: Resources for Parents – This compilation by Common Sense Media includes tips for a healthy media diet, guides to YouTube and cell phone use, advice on dealing with digital harassment, and much more. It’s aimed at helping parents navigate their children’s engagement with technology responsibly and safely.

These resources collectively underline the importance of being proactive, involved, and informed as parents in the digital age. They suggest that effective parenting in this realm involves not just setting limits and monitoring use, but also engaging with your children about their online experiences, fostering an understanding of media messages, and discussing the implications of technology use on their well-being and relationships.