Mondays with Mike: Mike Recommends #1

Welcome to a new “Mondays with Mike” and a new series!

Purpose. Every Monday I aim to connect with you, our parents, in ways intended to be meaningful for you and your family, and to keep you abreast with my perspectives and happenings at PCA that would enable you and your family to have the best experience possible as members of our community. In the end, our goal is for your sons and daughters to grow into their God-given potential so that they can graduate from PCA go into the world as Christ-centered young men and women, and impact it for good. These regular communications are intended to have you hear from me as well as to keep the channels of communications open.

This week, we start a new series titled, “Mike recommends….” As you will hear in the intro below, I offer all my thoughts humbly and for your consideration, so that your child’s experiences both on and off campus better foster what you and we hope for your child. Here is the roadmap as to where we are going:

Episode 1: Bridging the Digital Divide: Navigating Our Kids’ Secret Conversations
We dive into the complexities of kids’ digital interactions and how parents can effectively monitor and guide.

Episode 2: Melodies and Memes: Shaping the Youth’s Digital Diet
Exploring the influence of online content on young minds and fostering discernment.

Episode 3: From Clashes to Peace: Biblical Approaches to Conflicts, Online and In-person
Offering biblical insights and practical advice for dealing with digital disagreements among kids.

Episode 4: The Digital Hug: Sustaining Parent-Child Bonds in the Internet Era
Techniques for building trust and open communication channels with children as they navigate the digital landscape and life and as they prepare for the independence that separation will bring.

Click above to hear Mike’s 10-minute message on topics relevant for you and your family.

Below is a summary of the podcast above:

In our latest podcast episode, “Bridging the Digital Divide: Navigating Our Kids’ Secret Conversations,” we tackle an issue close to many of our hearts: the complex world of digital communication among our children.

Today’s digital landscape offers unprecedented opportunities for connection but also exposes our kids to risks such as sexting and inappropriate content. With 95% of teens having access to smartphones, much of their social life unfolds in these unmonitored digital spaces.

Closer to home, I am seeing this impact your kids and their classmates at school in really hurtful and disruptive ways, ways most parents are unaware of until after the fact. The issue is specifically around group and individual texting, and not as much on social media (although that area bears attention, too). Texting is where we are seeing the communications that hurt your kids most, and the damage they bring to school from outside. You are probably impacted by this, too, maybe more than you realize.

• Open Dialogue: Establish trust-based communication with your children about their digital lives. Discuss the importance of thinking critically about online interactions.
• Scriptural Wisdom: Use teachings from Proverbs 22:6 and Ephesians 4:29 to guide conversations about responsible digital behavior and the power of words.
• Healthy Boundaries: Together with your children, set screen time limits and discuss content consumption. Philippians 4:8 can help underscore the importance of focusing on what is true, noble, and right.
• Collaborative Monitoring: Implement parental controls thoughtfully, ensuring your children understand these measures are for protection, not surveillance.

Conclusion: Navigating the digital world with our children is an opportunity to grow together. More directly, it also impacts their relationships at school and their desire to come to school and learn and grow. By seeking wisdom and fostering open communication, we can create a safe and enriching digital environment for them.

Let’s continue this important conversation and support each other in guiding our children through the digital age. Did this episode help you? Did it encourage or discourage you (hopefully not the latter)? Let me know what you think (the feedback button at the very bottom of this message will come to me).

If and when you are concerned about what you are seeing on your child’s messaging (games, texts, social), we encourage you to do four things:

1. Pray. Seek guidance from God; convey your trust in him.
2. Talk to your child and learn more. Gain understanding, and stop the hurt (delete the text chain, delete the account, even change the SIM card ).
3. Talk with other parents who have kids involved or have gone through this themselves. Assume parents of kids who are involved are not yet aware of the situation and want to help safeguard all the kids, even if their child was involved and contributed to the problems you are encountering.
4. Contact us. If you sense these online/text interactions are impacting your child at school, please reach out and let us know and share with us what is going on. Much of what is said and done on texts and digital is outside of our ability to control (your kids’ phones are, by policy and practice turned off and stowed during the school day). That said, we can work with you to support your child here at school and work to foster a healthier, better environment.

Regardless of the circumstances, we expect you to do 2-4 above. We certainly encourage #1 and cannot emphasize enough the spiritual and faith issues that are tied to these topics.

1. We care about your children’s well-being and their relationships with their peers. We will act with what we know and how the actions touch the school. Our hearts break when we see the hurt caused by words on texts and social media: for your child, for you, for the ruptured relationships.
2. We will support you in the steps above, especially to stop the hurting on campus and related to school events and community.
3. We will encourage you to work with other families who are involved to stop the hurting and reconcile relationships.
4. Regardless if your child was hurt or did the hurting (usually it is both), we will walk with your child and love him/her through the process of getting on with life, as hard as that is. We will work with you and love your family, too.
5. We will move all involved to reconciliation and ultimate restoration, as our Christian faith calls us to.

For Episode 1, “Bridging the Digital Divide: Navigating Our Kids’ Secret Conversations,” here are some Christian and highly regarded resources specifically tailored to help you coach your children and guide them in this area of life.

1. Axis: Offers conversation kits that help parents discuss digital communication and online safety with their children from a Christian perspective.
2. Protect Young Eyes: Provides up-to-date information on digital trends, app reviews, and tips for setting up parental controls to protect kids online.
3. Focus on the Family: Features a range of resources on parenting in the digital age, including tips for monitoring online activity.

1. “Building Trust in a Digital World”: Offers insights into the challenges and opportunities of digital parenting.
2. “How to Keep Your Kids Safe Online” by Protect Young Eyes: Provides actionable tips for parents looking to safeguard their children’s digital experiences.

1. The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch: Explores how families can put technology in its proper place, creating more time for real-life engagement. It offers practical steps for rethinking our digital habits at home.
2. Screenwise by Devorah Heitner, PhD: Although not explicitly Christian, this book is a valuable resource for parents seeking to mentor rather than monitor their children in the digital age, focusing on empathy and communication.
3. Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World by Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane: Blends biblical wisdom with practical advice, offering strategies for managing technology use in a way that strengthens family relationships.

These resources are provided to help equip you as parents with a well-rounded understanding of how to effectively engage with your children about their digital lives, emphasizing open communication, setting boundaries, and nurturing a healthy online environment from a faith-based perspective.